As I read this parable recently, I began thinking about how I felt like that lost sheep. It made me think about my life and my walk with the Lord. And over the years, there have been many pitfalls and distractions that resulted in my going astray.
When I was younger, it was my own stubborness, pride and rebellion that kept me on the path leading away from Him. I was wanting to be part of the “in crowd”. Later on it was trying to straighten out my life, beginning by the Spirit and then trying to perfect myself. And still later on it was not taking the time to listen to the Holy Spirit speaking to me. I simply did not take time to listen to Him.
No matter how I was led astray, the result was always the same. I felt alone, empty and never able to fit in. I felt unworthy, unloved and always a failure no matter what I tried.
I still remember to this day the sense of being alone even in the midst of a crowd. Outwardly, no one could tell the pain I was feeling. Oh, I entered into all that was happening around me but inwardly my heart was heavy and miserable, lonely. Isn’t it amazing how alone and empty you can feel even in the midst of a crowd, at church, at family reunions, school or in any group.
Later on in my life, I started down the path of trying to fix myself up. You know what I mean. I tried doing it in my own strength and power. The problem was that my strength and power was very limited. The more I tried the more I failed. The load became too heavy and the feeling of failure and guilt gets reinforced all the more.
And still later in my Christian walk, not taking the time to listen became the problem. Not having an attentive ear to the Holy Spirit, whenever He speaks, caused me to stray off the path that leads to life. I get busy with work, family, and my stuff. No matter what it is or what I do, if I allow it to turn my ear away from Him and distract me, the same feeling of being alone and empty, unworthy, unloved and a failure enters in yet again.
The truth is that we all have been led astray, distracted and deceived in our lives at one time or another. And our good shepherd, Jesus, leaves the ninety-nine and searches for us. Yes, me! He knows that we are scared, lonely and lost with no way of finding our way back. He comes with arms out stretched and calls our name. We faintly hear Him off in the distance and we turn and run back to him with arms raised high. He sweeps us off our feet and holds us tight.
I tell Him, I am lonely and He says, I am here and I will never leave you. I tell Him that I am afraid and He tells me I am your strength and shield. I tell Him, I feel empty and He says my cup overflows and there is plenty for you. I tell Him, I am unworthy and He tells me I died for you and you are worth it. I tell Him, I am unlovable and He tells me I would do it all over again for you. I tell Him, I am a failure and He tells me without Him it is impossible to find the path that leads to life, to move mountains and to walk with the Father.
Our Good Shepherd is looking for you and me and will not stop until He finds us. And when He does there will be a celebration befitting a child of the King.
We are safe! We are loved! We are valuable! We belong! We are HIS! And we are at home!